I pass this man every time we go to the grocery store. The first couple times I saw him there was a twinge of guilt because I wasn't stopping to hand him money. As of late we've managed to keep our business afloat even if we're not making money right now. However, surely I could come up with a buck or two right?

Then the guilt would worsen when I had a moment of honesty. I've known a person who wouldn't take what he said he would. He'd work, food but not money.. yet when someone saw this young man and tried to give him the hot dog they just bought out of the store, this person got upset because the person didn't give him money.

I've ridden by a man standing on the median with his sign of woe and collecting money but when he turns around you can see the hypodermic in his back pocket. Apparently he didn't keep the needle in it or it would have poked him in the arse with each step.

Even my husband knew a lady that panhandled and made a couple hundred bucks a day.. back in the 1980's. That's more than we make right now. That's more than we pay the kids. And we pay tax on our money she and those like her don't.

So, when I see that man sitting there and those twinges of guilt come fluttering by, as if to remind me I'm being selfish... I know it is not just because we aren't financially set but I think even if we were better off financially I wouldn't hand him money because of those that came before him.... "Ah come on," I tell myself, "He's not them.. he's hungry."

Then as weather warmed up I noticed he was sitting on a cooler with a soda in hand. I didn't have money for a soda. Still.. that guilt wouldn't go away. I mean, come on.. I do, even if less frequently get a Starbucks. He's entitled to a soda. Especially in the hot sun.

The last time I felt bad was when my husband said, "Look at him!!" and there the man sat atop his cooler, soda on the ground next to him and he was fanning a stack of bills. He was holding in his hand a bigger stack of money than I ever have in my own hands in a month.

Well, okay.. we get paid by check, I deposit it and then pay bills and pray I can pay our bills. But I never have money in my pocket anymore. My husband wants me to keep twenty dollars in my pocket for emergency but I don't have the twenty bucks for that and I'm feeling guilty because I keep passing this man and not helping him?

When I saw that money in this man's hands I decided once and for all that I would never feel guilty again. I would continue with my plan of sending what money or other donation I am able to to places that will help more than just one person. Cancer research, a homeless shelter.. anything but not the person on the corner. Not when it feels too much like a scam to take money from people and not all of them can afford to give a man money when he won't help himself.