Today she had a complete melt down in school. She's been here with me since 10:00. She's done nothing but .. sit. No television, reading, no playing nothing. Well, she's playing with her shirt. She; despite being "grounded" seems.. happy.
Now, here's the thing.. she put pencils in her pocket. The teacher most understandably wanted her to take them out because they are sharp and didn't want the Kiddo to get hurt. Kiddo wasn't complying and the tantrum started. I imagine it was not pleasant because really.. children do at times still have temper tantrums. By the kiddo's age they should be far more rare.
So.. what's up with the kiddo? The only thing I can figure is that I can remember several times that my son said he was going to pick her up from her mom because the mom couldn't handle her. This started at two or three. For a time she lived with my son while she was three and I noticed no unusual problems.
When she went back to her mother then in time it started again.. my son would pick her up because the mother couldn't handle her. School started and it was horrible. I wouldn't leave the house to go to doctor appointments or shop because I didn't know if I'd be called to please go get her. I do however leave the house now and am generally comfortable with the knowledge that she'll be fine.
Over time the tantrums have become further apart. They have become generally less violent and for the most part could be handled in school and after the blast was past the day resumed as normal. Today I don't think it was violent so much as out in the hall disturbing other classes.
When I got there.. the teacher was sitting with her and rubbing her back and wiping her nose for her. Even promising that tomorrow is another day. I love this teacher.. she's got the patience of Job but in this case, a little ignoring goes a very.. very long way. When I mentioned it to the principle she said the Kiddo was going to hit her head. So, I guess I understand but you know.. that just makes it worse.
So, then I'm in a quandry because ultimately we've been working on giving her a life time of behavior lessons quickly. She'll have set backs. She's learning she can't have every thing she wants but these pencils she wanted with her ... forever.
Gone are the days in school where the principle could just pick you up and stick you in a corner.. all they can do is call me. Oh.. dare I say my principle spanked? If she saw disappointment from the adults in the school instead of coddling.. I wonder if she wouldn't settle down? The last time she did get brought down by two adults.. that pretty much ended the tantrum and she was fine.
I'm at a loss.. is it something I'm doing wrong? My son is doing wrong? Though he grounded her for the weekend the last time and she was an angel for nearly two weeks! She hates being grounded or in time out.
Or is that as Saturday nears and she's allowed to go visit her mother she can feel the tension. The court put stipulations on visitation. One was who the kiddo could leave with.. she can't even take her on a bus. But of course the last time the mother came here with my son's ex girlfriend to take her. And yes the mother argued until I relented so the Kiddo wouldn't have to be witness to this. So, Saturday comes tomorrow and if my son has to work then the mother will pick her up from me and don't want to go through this again.
The mother didn't raise her voice or cuss.. I perhaps raised my voice but I was getting frustrated because not even me saying.. "You are asking me to break a court order.. " Not even that backed her off.. so now I am already skittish at what tomorrow will bring. I worry because no matter what happens.. the mother will argue with my son and that takes it's toll on him.. it's just waayyy too much drama for me.. Just do what's best for the kiddo.