This time she was left with him for a couple months while the mother did .. who knows what? But as I recall it did include concert, hair getting done and the like while he, yes, at his time too.. paid child support and supported his daughter. Two weeks after she was served she showed up with the police to take his daughter from him. At this time the mother's mother drew the the back to her house and everything was hunkey dorey as far as the judge was concerned. The kiddo now lived with her mother in the grandmother's house.
This time she only has two days to find a home, to come across as if she's the perfect mother. Maybe not perfect but as if she deserves to keep the child. And, my son is worried about two things. For one that she will come take his daughter. That's his biggest fear right now. That she'll take the kiddo away, which she legally can because until this is settled she still has legal physical custody even though the Kiddo has lived in his house for a year.
The other is a fear that the mother .. to get him back will try for more child support if the courts go in her favor. But, I'm not going to entertain that because I believe the judge will surely look at the idea that this isn't the first time, that his daughter has improved under his car until the mother got busted for drunk driving.. she's been acting up since then or rather since she had to spend time in jail, that the mother has been taking child support and not having the child, that she got a DUI which leaves her with no means of transportation for her child since she has no lisence now, the mother doesn't know how her daughter is doing in school, she doesn't know what grade she'll be in when school starts next year, how about she has no home. You get the idea but I've digressed..
Originally, my son was going to have her served in court today but she didn't go. I'm not so sure she had to go?? Anyway, so he arranged for her to come to my house. He told her I had to go to the doctor. The person doing the serving came, I left to go pick the kiddo up from school and my son and husband remained here.
Apparently she didn't even make it to the yard. The man gave her the papers and I guess she turned back to the van and sat down and started crying. I don't know .. I wasn't here. Now, tomorrow if she doesn't bring the police to my son's house, then I'll take her out with me shopping and stuff. She bit someone in school.. good all day till the last hour.. and I think there is another kid in there that she really needs pulled away from. Anyway, a part of me feels so very bad on so many levels.
I can't imagine loosing my child. But, even my husband pointed out that I always took care of my children. They didn't go live for a year with their dad they lived with me. I felt very bad for the Kiddo because even though we don't speak of this in front of her, there are times when she sneaks in and over hears conversations, or we think we are speaking cryptically and she surprises us by understanding. Or perhaps it has something to do with her mother over here drunk the other day and part of what she said was that she didn't want to lose her daughter. ( So, you are here.. drunk??) Anyway, one has to wonder if the tension and stress we've been under deciding to do this, deciding how, when, and then coordinating.. even if she heard nothing, how much of our stress does she feel?
I feel worse for my son. He didn't want to do this. He wants to do right by his daughter but to do this hurts her mother. He doesn't like hurting another person. There are things he simply won't do and I admire him for that but in the process things happen that shouldn't happen because he won't tell another the bad parts of another person, he won't speak ill of another and now he's put in a position that he must. Oh, he'll talk to us but tell a teacher some of the things one needs to let a teacher know so that they are aware things are up with the Kiddo? He can't do that. He can tell me the mother is using drugs but not the teacher. So to do it with the end result to take her child.. he's hating this.
So, we have to get through nearly 48 hours before we know if he's got temporary custody. Hopefully to result in a few months in permanent custody. He may reconsider if her mother were to straighten up, especially considering he never wanted to take her daughter from her. She has Rh- blood. He THINKS she can't ever have another child. He did not want to do this. But he can't sit back and watch his daughter go the road she was headed.
Guess I'll quit writing.. usually it's cathartic for me to write but this time nothing is getting easier, I'm not getting any pearls of wisdom to give him, I'm getting nothing.. nix, nada, nothing. This is simply.. ugly.
Yet as ugly as it is my husband assures me our son is doing the right thing if our grandaughter is to have a chance at life. And that precious angel deserves that much out of one of her parents.. a chance at life.