There are things, people, places even feelings that we all become pationate about in our lifetime. Despite my age, and the patience and wisdom that are supposed to come with said age, change faster than a child who's had his ritalin taken away. In other words...my attention span is way too short. This will explain why I don't seem to be passionate about anything but I am.
One of my sons is learning disabled. He too has a short attention span among many other issues. It was thought that despite his very high I.Q. he'd never learn how to read and write. He couldn't process it correctly nor could he retain what he learned. There was a time my passion was spent in finding ways to help him cope and function in life. To keep his self esteem from going terribly low. A difficult task at best since his younger sister was rapidly catching up and passing his own reading abilities. Some how, and I'm not entirely sure how but in the process he did do what they weren't so sure he'd ever do very well. Read. He can write too though there are times his spelling is odd, for the most part it is right.
There was a game. Beyond the Beyond. Maybe because it was the first one my son and I truly enjoyed playing together. We liked playing them, he liked some and I liked others better but this one we both liked. I played it seemingly obsessively. He came home from school and I was in tears.. the dragon died. It was a video game and it devastated me that the dragon died! Let me interject here, that I would not smoke in his room. It seemed.. wrong. Because I spent hours on the game the end result was that I quit smoking about the time the dragon died so I was wierd about everything anyway. He, in the meantime was absolutely no comfort. "Mom! It's just a game!" Then, you could hear his laughter as he left the room. Only Zelda did I play with almost as much passion and now.. Neopets.
My own life has changed a lot and for the past several years I found it hard to be passionate about much other than my husband. But, things are slowly coming around. We are remodeling our home. My daughter took over cleaning when she was only 14 so I don't complain but nobody takes care of your own stuff like you do. With the remodeling of the house, I foresee feeling like I have my house back, and the desire to take care of it that I used to have. My husband got me a greenhouse for Christmas. Plants grow even during the winter now. I hate east coast winters with a passion you can not dream of.. well, maybe if you are from a place that's still pretty even in the winter. Southern California..no...snow and we still had flowers. That was something, when I lived in California I absolutely loved. I spent hours, watering, feeding, pinching, weeding.. it felt good.
I loved working with my husband. That won't happen ever again, save those few times it's a side job and not an OSHA concern. He says as long as I can't safely climb a ladder I can't go back to trimming houses or installing cabinets. That seems odd. For a woman to LOVE building houses.. but the wood, every species smelled so good when it was cut. At the end of every day you could look over your shoulder as you walked away and SEE progress..accomplishment. Every house was the beginnings of dreams for another family.
Everything I do comes in spurts but there are things that remain constants in the end, even if, like this blog, it seems like I've lost interest. Writing is one that comes and goes. Hence the pauses in my blog. I run out of things to write about. Always, though it doesn't seem like it, my husband, a friend of mine, my kids and the people I've met remain passionately in my heart.. even those like Sev, that unwittingly encourage me to take time to write.. it feels good to write even if, as I look back over it, none of it makes sense. Thank you Sev
