Thursday.. we waited. I didn't know what time the Kiddo's mom would be here. She never called she never came. Luckily I didn't tell the Kiddo she was to come.

All I know is that there was an argument with Kiddo's dad and Kiddo's mom. Recently the mom's tires were slashed. She apparently has written statements ( or people will write them?? I'm unsure) that my son's other girlfriend has bragged about doing it. So the Kiddo's mom wants to sue her.

On the face of it .. it might seem to make sense. But in the long run it only creates drama that stress' my son and his daughter. He tried to tell her not to do this and I guess this was what the argument was about. This was Wednesday. Thursday he hadn't heard from the Kiddo's mom.

He had two houses to do on Thursday. He didn't get home until nearly eight o'clock. I already had the kiddo bathed and he went in to talk to her. It was tossed out that she could stay here for the night since it was so late. I think he wanted to take her home but she was coughing. Rather than take her out with wet hair he asked if I'd keep her.

We didn't mind her staying. I was just concerned because all week the plan has been that if Lily was good all week again, she could spend the night here Friday. Once a year Kevin's real dad takes him to a football game on Sunday. It has already been planned that the mom will return Kiddo here and if my son doesn't get back before eight.. the Kiddo can spend the night on Sunday rather than him coming in late and waking her to take her home then wake her up early in the morning to bring her back. I know he'd miss his daughter after all that time, that was the only hesitancy in her staying the night Thursday.

I didn't tell the Kiddo her mom was coming on Thursday so she was not aware of her not coming.

Today, Saturday; I called my son and told him I wasn't going to take her to Tae Kwon Do because of her cough. He was filled with questions.. do I think it's asthma? Do I think it's the swine flu? SLOW down!! She has a cold and cough. When her nose runs alot it makes her cough and if she plays she starts coughing until she throws up. She did this last night playing with Grandpa.

Asthma... she was diagnosed with asthma when she was a baby. Never tested for it... but told she has asthma. The last doctor to give my son medicine for this.. he gave it to her and he called me in a panic because she'd been coughing hard and bad for twenty minutes. He was scared, she was scared and he said it was making her throw up. He never did that again. I was TESTED for asthma. I wasn't just told I have it I was TESTED.

Could she have it? Maybe .. maybe not. I know, I sure haven't seen her have any difficulty breathing other than when she has a cold or during allergy season. If your child has asthma you of course would want her to be treated but if she doesn't really have asthma, if she's simply congested for the same reasons every other child is congested then I can't help but wonder how bad the asthma medicines are for the child. But.. I'm not a doctor.

Now, when he gets off work I will again try to let him know this is NORMAL.. he shouldn't even have to take her to the doctor. It's just a cold but I always chose to treat a cold with rest (as much rest as you can convince a child to get on day one or two of a cold) and then simply go back to normal. My concern wasn't so much that she rest but that the running and such would provoke her coughing even more. Nothing more.

It is now 11:17 and still no word from her mom. As she's up and around she feels much much better. I COULD have taken her to Tae Kwon Do.. but not if her mother is going to be here at ten. She WANTS to go next door and play with her friend. I COULD have let her go for awhile. Now I feel bad for the Kiddo but this won't be the first time I made her wait for her mom and her mom didn't show.

Update two.. Dad called and asked if I'd heard from the mom. Nope. That was 11:34 am.. I assured him while he was on the phone that she is fine here not to worry and she's seems better after she's been up and around for awhile. Cough not gone but not as bad. It is now 12:15 pm and I've still not heard a word from her Mom.

Update: Her dad finished one house instead of two and came home for the day... as they can do. He picked the Kiddo up at 1:00 pm and before he left didn't know what was going on which means Kiddo doesn't know what's going on and I don't for certain know what's going on.

Update: 2:00.. talked to dad regarding me babysitting tomorrow so he can attend the football game with his father. He still does not know what is going on and she still doesn't know what's up with the Kiddo's mom.. did I mention.. it's HER weekend?

The last update for this post.... the way it finally played out: My son called at 8:00 pm last night and said he was going to take the Kiddo to her mom's in the morning. The mom was going to bring her here at five, six.. seven? I heard him ask.. then heard him say he didn't know when he'd be back.. so I said, Five.

It seemed fair since that is the time she's supposed to bring the Kiddo back to her dad. It also allowed us to know for certain when to make dinner and more importantly when to be home if we left the house.

We came home early.. good idea too as the Kiddo came walking in the house at 4:32 pm.. with a pack of cookies. And.. starting to have temper tantrums. She was angry cause we took the cookies till AFTER dinner.. Her attitude improved when her grandfather pointed out that it wasn't going to work here and sent her to her room.

I guess her dad had fun.. he came and picked her up and she'd been fed, bathed, hair washed and was by then.. a happy kid.

Today marks the 8th year since we as a nation was attacked. Flags are flown at half staff, memorial services are held everywhere but most significantly at the three crash sights. One of those sights was the Pentagon.

Then I heard news of shots fired by the Coast Guard at another boat in the Potomac River. Today.

My heart sank. Not again. Why would it surprise me? It wouldn't but I was hopeful and waited for news and prayed.

News did come. Coast Guard was executing ... Training maneuvers? By the bridge the president was on today? Near the nation's capital?? Today??

I understand the Coast Guard needs to train but come on.. there? Today? Couldn't it have waited till tomorrow?

Just venting and letting go of the worry that built up so quickly...

In a utopic type world everyone would have free medical care that is of excellent quality. Surprise! We don't live in utopia and so many disagree with the current president's plan. So, instead of taking drastic steps to overhaul our medical care why not step back and look at people of this country see.

For one I have heard that other countries that do provide medical service doesn't seem to be the best idea either. That's our example. If the current president wants something different then perhaps reassure the people of the United States that it will be different.

Why not come up with plans and offer them up and let us vote on these plans? It doesn't seem like we are being heard.
Do you know Medicare pays less than regular insurance? The first leg brace the doctor did not know I paid for it myself. Not until he saw that it was about three years past due for replacement and now I need one for both legs. I was looking at the possibility of five grand JUST so I could walk.

He charged me what Medicare would pay. I paid less for two new leg braces than I originally paid for one. That said, I will say that given in this country we pay for the needed expertise, I believe at the very least there should be a compromise between the charges that Medicaid will pay and the charges that standard insurance will pay.

So far I've seen doctors charge anywhere from $70.00 to $150.00 dollars for a visit for strep throat for a patient with no insurance. If one doctor can charge $70.00 then why can't all doctors?

Why can't insurance companies figure an appropriate average and charge that for premiums? My son pays for insurance for his daughter. Yet, he's not had to make a claim against that insurance because she's needed to go to the doctor once so he had to pay for that visit out of his pocket..deductible didn't kick in yet. Yet he's paid over 200.00 a month for insurance.

I do believe there should be seriously evident of errors for a doctor or medical professional to be sued for mal practice. I can't begin to tell you how much testing I've gone through just "to be sure." Of course, a doctor didn't do all he could and now I wear braces to walk. But even that said, the way my body presented .. only one doctor suspected and checked for a spinal cord injury as high up as it is. Should the first doctor have done what she did? Yes. Is it reasonable for him to have NOT checked? Yes.. I'm not going to sue because it's not going to make me walk right again. He erred in not looking outside the box. He was not entirely careless which resulted in my death.. or catastrophic illness. He does not pay that elevated insurance he would end up with.. his patients would. To me it wasn't worth suing.

My two biggest questions.. remain.. How will this be paid for? I know the president said he wouldn't raise taxes for this. You can't have a program of this scale and it not cost anything. How will it be paid for? The other is.. IF he puts in this public option then what is to say that someone like me.. who can't really afford our insurance were to use it.. if they had to cancel it I'd be uninsurable again and left with no medical coverage.

Seems that like my quote above.. the more we get from our government the more it can take away.

She had a Green Day!!

First day of school. Over the past weeks my husband and I have purchased school supplies, a few outfits. Her dad has gotten her back on school schedule times and tried to take her shopping. He took her to get her required physical. Backpack filled up, lunch money tucked in an envelope, summer reading which I did with her was tucked in her backpack for extra credit. Snacks were made too!

My son got her here in the morning so I could get her back to sleep for a little while. While my son was at work my husband made her favorite breakfast.. eggs and grits. I got her dressed and such. Then, my son came to take her to school.. but he came with the mother.

This woman has no clue how lucky she is. Had I been through everything this girl has put my son and my grandaughter through, I wouldn't give a tinker's damn what she wants anymore. He feels it important that she know her mother. I agree, he's right but I tend to do so with trepidation.

So, they come here and it was my son that included me in taking the Kiddo to school. It was the mother who walked into the school as if all of this was her doing. She filled out the name tag she took pictures .. and I hated myself because I was upset.

I am not entirely sure why I was upset. Perhaps because I feel like I'm trying to do the best I can for Lily. I feel like everyone handles everything and in Crystal waltzes and takes all the laurels. She looks like A number one Mother yet fails to recognize the amount of work her own daughter has done to get to the point that Crystal looks like a good mother. She further fails to even offer as much as a "thank-you" to me. I stepped in where she hasn't managed to do so far and I don't ask for much other than maybe.. "thank you for taking care of my daughter."

That's okay. The kiddo isn't my child and to be honest I don't do what I do for Crystal. I do it for Lily and I do it for Kevin. Period. So I guess it's silly to think the mother might be gracious.

We drop the Kiddo off and as we walk back to the car she informs me that she will meet me at my house every Tuesday and Thursday to ride with me to get the Kiddo and stay at my house to do homework and such. EXCUSE ME?

Later in the day my son said he was sure I was going to say something. I didn't. Well.. not much. I simply said that I leave at three and I'm not waiting. I also said that if there was ONE time I had to pick the Kiddo up and she hugged a pole kicking and screaming cause her mother wasn't there then the mother wouldn't go again. "Oh, don't worry I already talked to her about that." I simply said.. okay and drove home. I was UPSET!

Kevin says we discussed this a few weeks ago. He said I was okay with it. I don't recall that conversation. My husband said he is pretty sure my son must have intended to ask and didn't cause I'd have spent days yammering my displeasure. I'd have spent days anticipating the tantrums the kiddo has when things don't go the way she thinks they should or the way she wants them.

Son went back to work. Crystal drove him and when he got back my younger daughter was here. I told my son not to be riding in the car with Crystal. Her lisence is suspended. This would make him the lisenced person in the car that is allowing her to drive. He was not aware that HE could get into trouble so my daughter told him of the jail sentence she has hanging over head cause of her ex boyfriend doing the same thing with her in the car. He won't be doing that again.

I admire him. He believes Crystal has hit bottom. She's lost her daughter even if temporarily. He thinks we should help her. Uhm. She's not mine. I have enough stress from my own kids ..and don't need her too. I was the one that got to sit back and watch what she did to my son and grandaughter. I was helpless to stop any of it. I couldn't change that everyone covered when she was part of stealing six grand from a job. I was helpless to stop as I watched my son change when she lived there. I couldn't change that my grandaughter was left at babysitters and they didn't know where her mother was. Or her disgustingly drunk at my house bad talking her own mother. I could go on. I am sure I don't need to.

She is lucky my son is the kind man he is. He wants her to be Lily's mother. IF she was straight and had her life together he'd probably entertain the idea of her having the Kiddo back. Though I'm not sure about that. He may simply be speaking on terms of her being in the Kiddo's life as her mother...

She's dishonest as they come and fails to remember I know more about her than she thinks we do. I've known her to be a thief and a drug addict. My son seems to think she's trying to do better yet she pulled up in front of my house driving a car. To me.. that is NOT someone that is trying. That is NOT someone that has any respect for the law. To me she has only pulled the wool over his eyes.

My husband and I both are terribly uncomfortable around her. We don't trust her. Whatever cigarettes she's smoking smell terrible. Assuming that cig's is what the smell is from. I tried to hint at that by blaming them both but the point is, I don't care to be around that smell twice a week. I'm sorry. Mean? She drives me crazy, smells like an ashtray and then guess what happens? I want a cigarette. I won't have it.

More importantly, if Crystal is here Lily won't pay attention to me. That is natural for children and as is it should be. However, Lily thrives with a routine and to me, just because you gave birth to a child doesn't make it right to do anything that is going to disrupt her education. Is Lily the priority or is Crystal?

Every year on the first day of school they send home a ton of paperwork. One of which is an emergency form to fill out and a couple other forms that need filled out, plus alot of messages regarding rules and the like. She flipped through the papers, pulled out one that a teacher wrote on, asked me to make a copy for her records. This paper stated something I knew LAST school year. The rest of the paperwork she did not look at, she gave them to me. She said she was told that the Kiddo had to go over one pamphlet and sign it. She didn't even do that with the Kiddo. She came to the conclusion that emergency form wasn't there. Had she half read, or made a little attempt to look at that stack of paperwork she'd have seen it. Now I have to get my son back here to sign it all.

On the humorous side.. my cousin sent me a message. It was a stress relieving kit. You cut the circle out, put it against a hard surface and bang your head against the circle. After school my daughter, son, husband the Kiddo and Crystal were here. I told my husband about this and said I had asked if it would be legal to bang the person's head against the wall that is causing the stress. He was thinking surely I wasn't THAT mean was I? Cause he knew what I was talking about.

Crystal laughed and said if it was one of my kids she supposed I could bang their head against the wall and I said very simply, "It's not one of my kids." Or Lord.. yes his wife can be mean. But it so went over her head and she erred in saying I could do it to one of my kids.. I would no sooner bang their head against a wall than I would hers. ( Yes it's a tempting thought!) but don't suggest it either. Especially since I may have been speaking of her I wasn't speaking to her.

She doesn't like me. I don't like her so why pretend otherwise? Be civil and be ware what you say because I may hold it against you.

Thursday... the day the Kiddo's mom elected not to see her daughter on the LAST summer day to do a power cleaning job and earn a few extra dollars? She called me a few minutes after Noon. Then she said she'd be done in an hour or two.

So.. that gave her time to spend with her daughter. Right? If nothing else.. show up to Tae Kwon Do.

She didn't.

This being a holiday weekend AND her weekend she gets to keep her daughter from Saturday morning to five o'clock Monday. Because this is the last weekend before school starts she wants to just get the Kiddo on a normal schedule so she's taking her home on Sunday.

In my own opinion it's better for the girl's temperament to get back into her dad's rules and my rules before school starts.. but me as mom simply does NOT grasp the concept of not spending that time with my child.

The fact is... even IF she kept her Monday.. Tuesday is the FIRST day of school. Tuesday the Kiddo will excited and her mind in a totally different direction than the rest of the year. I can tell when she's spent time with her mom... even as she tries to behave better on those days there is still a backslide.

This is, as my husband reminds me, is the last weekday I have to worry about scheduling around the kiddo's mom.

This was the last day she could spend an afternoon with the Kiddo. (aside from weekends) Instead she got a job power washing somewhere. "You know, to make a few extra bucks."

Of course the idea that my son and I am doing laundry in our respective houses, we have done everything while the mother does nothing, nada has irritated me so I SHOULD be pleased the mother took this side job.

In as much as she did that.. I am. However, the Kiddo didn't know her mom wasn't coming until after noon. Approximately 12:15 to 12:20. We didn't know and I arranged for the termite man to come since I had to be here till one o'clock then my husband and I were going to go buy snacks and such for the Kiddo's school.

I scheduled around her and now what do I do? She said when she got done she'd call to see where the Kiddo was. Uhm.. Hello.. what about our plans? We can take her but I really don't want to just sit around the house .. waiting.

She agreed that it would be no problem as it's her weekend with the kiddo anyway. I wish I had known much, much earlier in the day. There are things we would have done this morning too. I wouldn't have told her this was her day with her mother.. only have to tell her nevermind... AGAIN.

It's a good thing I don't have children in school or they would be absent on the day Obama speaks to children in school. <<< find sources>>>

I was okay with the idea that he might speak to our children about the importance of education. I was okay with the idea of suggested plans for the teachers to use with the students.. plans that include how has the president inspired you? Or finding important quotes about our president.

It's the "How can you help the president?" that was over the top for me. I know full well that if an adult wants something, get the child to intervene. The exaggerated yet most recognized example that comes to mind is "Go tell your parents you want a horse for your birthday." It's not meant to get the child a horse of course. We all who have done this know the young child will pester his parents wanting a horse. An evil perverse glee we might get and the unlucky parent spends time cursing under their breath how Uncle John is going to get his one day.

Only this time it's not a horse. It smacks of using our children to sway the opinions of their parents. I don't recall doing this in school. I don't recall my children doing this in school. What I DO recall is learning of ALL presidents. I do recall my children being required to learn of other presidents.

My husband tried to point out that for most of these students this president and President Bush are the only presidents they know of. I agree. But I also know these children in the higher grades have learned of other presidents so why not ask of their favorite quote from ANY president? Why only Obama? Why can't children learn to help our country? Some might argue that helping the president IS helping our country. However what if what this child thinks is important for his/her country is not agreeable with our current administration. Or perhaps it simply is something the child deems important but the president has given no thought to. Litter comes to mind.

Should we be teaching our children to help one person or help the country, the neighborhoods they live in?
Something smells odd about this.. a gut feeling that our children are being used by our government

< Instead of doing this why not look at the things going on this country that need attention.. Like Delta Smelt. Do our children know that crops.. FOOD.. is being allowed to die off to ensure a little silver fish lives? Where do we draw the line? Little silver fish are more important than humans?? And if this is not the case this is the impression I, and very likely others, are left with. This is a perfect example of just where the people of this country rank with this administration.

I have more to say. I feel overwhelmed... but please don't point out to me that this idea or that is NOT Obama's. You see, I've taught my children that in all you do in life you are judged not on your own merit but also those people you surround yourself with so choose friends wisely in the course of their lifetime. This is even more important with the leaders of our country. .

Blah, I had a mishap with my post and now have to fix it.. for the moment I'll leave it and try to get back to fix it and add sources.