# Unwanted :: Snow!

# You’d better :: Quit laying in the snow! Huh?? You are making angels? In the snow? You are getting wet and it's not warm enough for that! Can't get the California out of me!

# Woman :: Best listen to her.. or pretend to?

# Weighed :: With coat on, phone, keys and both braces on.

# Upright :: Still standing?

# I feel :: Like walking on the beach in the summer.. not snow in the winter.

# Ill :: My son.. 'nuff said.

# It’s like :: I'm a teenager again.. and like my dad's going to tell me to quit saying "it's like" but it's like, part of my speach so it's like, ya know, I have to say it.. ya know?

# Poor man :: is sliding in his car back down the hill.wait..wait.. he's gonna hit our truck!

# Great :: Pumpkin

A coach is fired because he didn't ... well.. you read it. Girls Basketball Game.I'm just dumbfound. I know, nobody wants to lose that badly but we spend a lifetime telling the children to do their very best, not cheat.. and strive to be the best you can be.

Perhaps, as a coach, and I did coach six year olds in soccer. It wasn't always the winning that was important but the lessons learned. I'm just stupified that the coach got fired and I think it's wrong.

Admittedly, I would most likely have started to put second and third string if for no other reason than so they could play but apologize for a win like that? No.. get fired over a win like... seems wrong to me.

In life these girls will have wins and they will have failures. Sometimes HUGE failures. Isn't it best to let them endure those huge loses while they live at home with family that will hold a hand out in comfort? Life is hard, it sucks sometimes and if we protect them by buffering wins... what kind of message are we sending them?

I don't believe Christian belief should be involved in this. It's a basketball score not mass.. I wonder if the girls that lost feel the other team should have lightened up or did they learn that a loss, no matter how big or small is not life altering?? Did the girls that lost show more grace and dignity in the face of this loss than the people that fired a coach?

If so, then perhaps the girls are ahead of the game.

I have over the years gotten many children ready for school. For a time I had four at once to oversee and managed to get them out the door... accident free. What the HECK has gone wrong?

For some reason she wanted her hair washed and despite the rule that she not get it wet before she leave in twenty degree weather she HAD to wash it so it would smell beautiful for her teacher. Okay, that was comical. However, she KNOWS that if she does that I will dry it with a the blow drier because a towel simply won't do the trick! It's too cold.

She hates me doing that and at one point I had a brush in one hand, the hair dryer in the other and I was trying to turn her around to get the other side of her head which was out of reach the way she was standing. She got angry because she didn't want to move and snapped her head back planting her cheek on the end of the hair dryer. Thankfully she's not burned.

Then came brushing the teeth. That was a nightmare. She has been doing this herself finally. I think my son as well as me have all been trying to encourage her to take care of these small things herself. She's a big girl. Today she was satisfied with running her brush over one side of her teeth .. with one stroke and wouldn't brush them correctly.

I didn't think twice and I started to brush them. I keep telling her the reason I don't like to brush her teeth is because I can't feel them and she won't hold still. "Open, I need to get the back of your teeth." At this point the tongue poked out. No.. stick your tongue back in and let me brush your teeth. With one hand I'm holding her hair so it will stay out of the toothpaste mess and the other I'm trying to watch in the mirror what I'm doing when she decides she's done and tries to swing her head away. The next thing I knew blood was spilling out of her mouth.

I tried to flush it with water and it wasn't quitting. I ran to the kitchen looking for tea bags and of course we are out. She was sitting on the stairs with no clothes on holding her towel to her mouth and finally said, "They will come home and I'm naked!" So we went up to dress.

This is what she told me after she quit crying. "You hit a tooth and the blood went all over my body and the bathroom wall!" She says it was an accident.. all I know is that I was brushing her teeth and then blood was spilling out of her mouth. The two of us were freaked out even though I KNOW the slobber and water are making it look worse than it really is. It is still terribly unsettling to know I caused this. But really, it wouldn't have happened had she stood still and not tried to fight me brushing her teeth.. in fact.. it would have for certain not happened if she had brushed her own teeth.

I sent a note to school, got her off to school and I swear the whole morning has been like this. She was off to go next door, our neighbor drives her with his daughter to school. She popped back in with a pair of her missing gloves. "Grandma, he found my gloves!" I told her I was happy and have a good day, I love you.. I always say this but the door was already closing. I turned back into the kitchen for a MUCH needed cup of coffee when the door popped open again and that sweet voice chimed, "I love you too!" and then just as quickly she was gone.

My husband and the boys walked in and I came out and asked her father if she was with her mother yesterday. He looked almost ready to back up.. and said, last night she spent time with her, why? My husband, who has seen the jeckyll hyde nature of her before piped up and informed him that every time she spends time with her mother she's a pain to try and deal with.

Before she left while I was trying to write a note for her teacher so she got more than "grandma, tooth, blood all over my body." and she tried to tell me I had to tell her I was sorry for hurting her. I tried to tell her she would also have to tell me she's sorry for having a temper tantrum when I'm trying to help her. That mouth opened and she started to whine and cry and tell me I had to tell her I was sorry.

Finally, AFTER she started to listen I did tell her I was sorry and she said, "I'm sorry I acted out when you brushed my teeth."

Big hugs ensued and I told her to please try to find a way to get control of her tantrums because they are becoming dangerous. She has to be able to spend an evening with her mother and not come and behave this way. What is the connection?

I have been sick.. bronchitis. One of the problems I've had with it is that when I speak the sound can best be described as an annoying squeak. People didn't even want to talk to me over the telephone because I was so hard to understand. Consequently, holidays came and went and I didn't call anyone to wish them a wonderful Christmas.

Last night the kiddo wanted to stay here so ... she did. It reminded me so much of when I was a kid and my grandparents and aunts and uncles did the same.. all I had to do was ask and they let me stay. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to call the two aunts that remain alive.

It was too late for the older aunt. She'll be 89 next month and probably looking for a ton of attention. Heaven only knows she gave it to me when I was a child! But my other aunt hasn't done too well since my Uncle died. So she's awake till all hours of the night. I called her. She lives in Pittsburgh... my family are all Steelers fans. Though I moved away before I cared about football, I did become a Steeler fan in the early 70's while I lived at home in San Diego.

There's the background to what I thought was an amusing way to have my aunt answer the phone.. "Hello Honey, are you ready for the Super Bowl?" Uhm.. hello? How are you? None of that chit chat she went straight to the Super Bowl question. Not sure why it struck me as funny... perhaps because here at home I'm surrounded by Raiders Fans!

The Christmas decorations are down at my other aunt's house so I imagine she's placed a picture of her with one time Coach Chuck Noll over the fireplace again. She loves that picture and I imagine she makes sure to show it off. She will be 89 next month. The aunt I did talk to reminded me of this so I'd be sure to send her a card or something. Maybe it'll be a "Steelers won the Super Bowl a 6th Time" card?

So, as I'm writing this it occurs to me.. we should drive to Pittsburgh and watch the game with my family!! I told my husband of this very cool plan and he shrugged one of those.. "if you want.." shrugs. The last Steelers game they managed to get him cheering for the Steelers, high fiving and everything.. it was amusing. I'm guessing he didn't have his Raiders shirt on?

Then I remind myself that it's too late to get back here and get enough sleep for him to work and me to take care of the Kiddo. I love my family but ya know, she's important now. Hopefully we'll get to go up in the spring on the motorcycle! Not in time for the Super Bowl but.. eh.. it will be good to spend time with my family!!

Kiddo stayed with her mom this weekend. Today, was just a bad day. She didn't want to come in the house so she had an all out tantrum. Wrapped herself around the column out the door and I got the privilge of dragging her inside the house where she threw herself on the floor in front of the door so I got to drag her up the stairs so she wouldn't get hurt when people started to walk in the door.

I should have expected it and I suppose a part of me did but I keep trying to tell myself that I am being unreasonable in thinking her tantrums seem to come more freely after she spends time with her mother. That wasn't to be the last tantrum of the day either, the other was over shoes her other grandmother gave me so she had dress shoes to wear with her dresses to school.

To understand this, she's been GOOD! an angel for the past couple weeks... but she's gone home with her dad every night and stayed with him. Today he said he doesn't think her mom will try to see her for a couple more weeks. He asked if I'd journal the amount of time the mother spends with her daughter. I'm not sure if I've actually done that.

I haven't blogged in awhile but last week as we stood in front of the mirror with me trying to teach her to brush her own hair she started talking about her mother. Actually, she said very little.. it was as if she was GOING to say something and made a face as she shook her head and said, "I don't think my mother has a home."

I asked my son about this and temporarily the mother is staying in an apartment of someone she knows but it's apparently rather temporary. She told me today she had not had a bath all weekend. This may or may not be the truth but I do know my son said she badly needed a bath... so I'm guessing.. she didn't have a bath.

Soon enough ... biding one's time is hard. Especially when I watch things seem to snowball on him, he needs that money he's paying in child support. But, he's biding his time because he doesn't want to give her back again. He wants to know his daughter is in a safe, loving home.

I am... COLD!! Wind is blowing hard enough that I wonder if I shouldn't take the flag down. My daughter wants tme to go with her to get the baby's hair cut. Losely translated she wants me to pay for it.

He will be that magical age most mothers probably try to forget... Two! She wants to have a party for him at Chuckie Cheese and wanted to know if I could contribute some money to help pay for this.

I can't afford to take myself to Chuckie Cheese, not that I would with a bunch of kids running around to play games and eat pizza. Did it once, never again!! That place simply frightens me!

I pointed out to her that he's ... TWO! He won't remember if you took him to Chuckie Cheese, he won't remember the celebration of his birthday, in fact... he won't care. I know, mother of the year award for me, right?

She's aware that he won't remember it so I interjected.. "Then say it like it is, the party is for the adults in his life!"

Then she pointed out the argument I couldn't deny.. "He can still have fun." Yet it makes no sense to me to have a party like that when everyone is so broke. Add to it she'll want us to be there and she was going to hit her dad up for money and invite him. Uhm.. another reason to stay home. We are divorced for a reason.. actually we could do these things until he got married. Then, he seemed far less willing to make it easier for the kids and combine it. So, I figure she's not comfortable hanging around the ex wife.. I can understand and I'm okay with that.

I can't afford 70 bucks right now. I can't figure out how I'm going to pay my bills yet so a party for a two year old isn't high on my priority list. If she wanted to cut it down to family we could have a home made party here or better yet at her house, it is her son!

Of course she understandably doesn't want to have ten children plus parents at her apartment so she was going for Chucky Cheese. I say.. wait till he's older for that. That's my thought cause he'll still love her no matter what she does for him.

Just wait till he gets older though. We've never really been able to have a birthday party for her. Her birthday was the 12th of January and report cards come out about the this time... everyone was grounded for her birthday. Eventually I quit getting her excited cause she'd go to everyone's birthday with gift in hand and when hers came around she got... report cards!!

When I picked the kiddo up the teacher said her morning was very good, she sat on the rug and was part of the class. The afternoon was rocky though. Hhmm.. I wanted a comparison of some sort and asked her if it was as bad as in September? "Nooo..noo.. not that bad.. " The expression on her face and everything told me that as terrible a start as the child had when school started, she's come a very, very long way!

I called the doctor's office. When asked why I wanted the appointment I said, "I had bronchitis, the cough is lingering and now I have chest pains." She gave me an appointment for tomorrow at 11:15 am. My daughter said if I am having chest pains they should have taken me today. She said I should be going to the emergency room.

I'm not dying so I'm not going to the ER.. I am just concerned that the bronchitis is turning to pneumonia again. I've had it ten times. The pain?? I had pleurisy before. The first time I was told I have that I knew I was dying and got told I had what I always thought to be an "old person's disease." They explained it was not an old person's disease it was an inflamation of the lining of the lungs.

News: Don't use Vicks Vapor Rub on children under the age of two. HUH?? I swear mine are alive because of that stuff! Has anyone ever had to eat it? My husband thinks that is just wierd but I was given a dollop of it after it was rubbed on my chest. Seemed pretty normal to me!

They said on the news that there is ONE Portapotty for every four hundred people that will be in the Capital for the Inauguration. They are suggesting you bring your own toilet paper. Needless to say I won't be there. Nope, nope... some things I simply don't intend to give up and one of them is a clean toilet.

My father's wife left my brother a voice mail over the holidays. She thinks the realtor SHE chose in cahoots with her lawyer... and this realtor was picked like, three lawyers ago. She'll never get that house on the market. She wants to change realtors to one of her friends. Uhm.. we were stupid. We did not contest her living there because that is what my dad wished. Consequently, she's getting a huge chunk of our inheritance. My dad did not wish for her to put the house in debt, (it was paid off.) he did not want her to sell it and pay for the debt then split what remains in three.. it was meant for my brother and I. No, she's crazy if she thinks I'll so much as blink an eye without an attorney present. She also wants my inlaws in California to pick up a bedroom set. They are in their seventies.. how are they supposed to do this? Not to mention, where are they supposed to store a bedroom set? Then, she'll let me have my grandmother's stained glass windows after the house is sold. She's looney... flat out looney!

Over the holidays my son taught the Kiddo to tie her shoes. Within two days her mother or other grandmother bought her velcro tennis shoes. So... we are back at not tieing shoes again.

Everything is a step.. lots of hard work to teach her those basic fundamental things a five year old should know. Today, with me hovering over her she for the most part brushed her teeth by herself. I mean brushed not suck the toothpaste off the toothbrush and call it good.

Her hair, still gets into her eyes. It seems to me that the lady didn't cut the bangs far enough over. Or maybe it's just the kiddo and her hair?? Brushing is hit and miss still but she's learning.

As for what motivated the mother to bring her home and not keep her overnight on a school night? Not even my son knows... he opened the door said hello to his daughter and the mother was already scurrying off the porch. I'm not sure if this is his intention but it almost sounded like she couldn't wait to drop the Kiddo off.

In this world the kiddo is no longer simply there she is a part of our worlds. You can't simply turn the television on anymore and call it good. She's learning, she's thriving and this past few weeks she's been quicker to smile than she has been to have a tantrum.. and if she does start a tantrum?? What used to last hours of pure viciousness... kicking, screaming, breaking things, hurting... the last one? She went and lay on her bed and cried for a couple minutes then came back out in a better mood.

When I go to print all this out remember to check all posts as the one I posted just the other day has something in it.

Yesterday was the day we'd planned to have the kiddo spend the night so my son could attend a party at his landlord's house. That was called off because the mother wanted to keep her since her plans fell through.

What really happened is that she never again contacted my son and he couldn't get ahold of her so he brought his daughter here to spend the night with us. We had pizza and reading time, we played cards, she cried cause she wanted the television on when she went to bed however, within five minutes she was out like a light even though I never turned it on for her!! Before I went to bed I peeked in on her and she looked like an angel.

About ten this morning he called and he was in a v.e.r.y bad mood. She simply showed up at his house wanting to pick her daughter up. He was on the phone with my ex-husband at the time. My ex could hear him getting upset because she wants to keep the kiddo overnight tonight... on a school night.

So there he is trying to tell her no and his dad is telling him he needs to take her to court. While my son is thinking he has a pretty good case as time goes on what he doesn't have is money for an attorney. To which my ex told him he shouldn't need an attorney.

This won't be the first time my son has tried to gain custody of his daughter. He can't keep doing this so he wants to make SURE this time.

I called him later and told him if the past is any consolation she'll bring the Kiddo back to him because she can't control her. I've yet to hear if the kiddo got to go home to her dad's house or not.

Not to mention I find more than a little disprespectful to me to not even know if the kiddo will be here in the morning and here on time for me to bathe, feed, dress and get to school.

What simply boggles my mind is that the mother knows the daughter has become much better but we follow a rather strict routine. Why would she want to disrupt that knowing it has bad consequences for her daughter to disrupt her routine??

I'm already dreading the phone calls tomorrow and picking her up ..IF she makes it through school.

UPDATE: Not sure yet if I was right or if he put his foot down but she stayed the night at home and was able to get a good nights sleep on a school night.

Note:: Can it be stipulated that there is no overnight visits on a school night.

My husband is starting to worry so much he's snapping at everyone. As if the economy isn't bad enough alone, he did have a job for this week. The entire week he blocked off for a customer. The job pushed and will have to wait for two weeks but nobody let anyone know so my husband didn't have time to fill the whole week up with work. We paid the boys to do things like... go home, take down Christmas decorations... you know, we pay them but have no income coming in to cover those paychecks.

iChat is going to be cool if I can get it to work. I have a friend of forty years and we tried it today but eh.. we could see each other's face. I could hear him but he couldn't hear me. I made some adjustments after he signed off so maybe next time it'll work!!

My step son, generally simply referred to as my son... gave us a gift card to a favorite restaurant for Christmas. So we took him and his fiance out to dinner with it tonight. She's nice enough but there is something wrong.. not sure. Finally my husband said it's that... 'nobody's good enough for your son' thing. I think he's right too. Ya know, I would have stopped at one child if I'd known about all this fiances, wives, grand children thing and that you still worry.

I guess we have to do the groom dinner thing for his wedding. I told my husband I was rather ambivalent about this because actually we don't have the money. Because four other kids have been told we don't pay for this. We didn't do this for our own wedding. And because I'm not a very sociable type among a group of people I don't even know. And because when you live together.. as far as I'm concerned it's kindof too late for the big wedding thing. Just do the justice of the peace thing and you are just as married with the benefit of money saved that could go toward the purchase of a house!!

I forgot to add this as we were in the middle of trying to get ready for Christmas. My husband, the Kiddo and I were driving somewhere... she said, Dustin broke her mothers make up. She was scared but her mother didn't die this time. Does a child just make this up??

I was looking forward to her spending the night tomorrow. My son's landlord invited him to a party. He asked if I would mind babysitting but really feels as if we do alot already for him. It is his weekend with the Kiddo. The mother had plans and couldn't take her. But those plans fell through so now she is taking her. As my son said, her friends are more important than her daughter. I think the difference is.. she's with him all week and two or more weekends a month. We all would have expected her to do as he would have done and jump on the chance to spend time with her daughter, the little girl that doesn't live with her.

Guess, since he had to get new tires and brakes and is trying to get his car to pass safety and emissions inspection to renew his registration, he's broke. He asked the mother to bring food for the kiddo. The mother doesn't have money for food BUT.. had money to go out with her friends if it hadn't fallen through???

My husband overheard this conversation so he gave him some ham, beans and rice and some quick cooking food.. chicken pot pies, Chef Boyardie..